Should you spank your kids?

Jessie and our spanking stick

Jessie and our spanking stick

To spank, or not to spank: that is the question.  I know that many of you will not agree with me on this one.  Each parents has to develop his/her own convictions.  I know that spanking is not politically correct, but it is Biblically correct.

Biblical Basis for Physical Discipline (Spanking)

 “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.”  Proverbs 13:24

 “Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.”  Proverbs 19:18

 “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.”  Proverbs 22:15

 “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.  Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death (Hell).”  Proverbs 23:13-14

“The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother….Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.”  Proverbs 29:15,17

Definition of spanking: 

Spanking is a measured amount of pain delivered by a loving parent.”  from Dennis and Barbara Rainey, The Family Life Parenting Conference

Guidelines for Spanking

  •  Assure the child of your love
  • Parent should spank when in control-not in anger
  • Use a wooden spoon or object that will not harm them
  • When appropriate explain “why”
  • The will of the child should be broken but not his spirit
  •  Always done in private
  • It should be memorable for the child
  • Should be done promptly
  •  Verbal affirmation, a hug, and prayer should always accompany spanking
  • Your child’s age is important.

Now, when the kids get older, there are other forms of discipline that are more painful than spanking.  James Dobson (Focus on the Family) recommends not to spank after the age of 8.  But it is really up to each parent to determine.

Some other forms of discipline: 

  • time outs
  • not allowed to play with friends,
  • sit them on the bench during a baseball game in their uniform and have them cheer on their team
  • take away privileges: TV, video games, phone, car, spending the night with a friend, “going out”

Disciplining the younger kids is actually quicker and easier.  You spank them, and it’s over.   With the older kids, it is much more work, because you are trying to teach, correct and instruct.

Well, I know that’s a ton of info.  I will be discussing more on Sunday at Graystone Church as I share the message, Lion Tamer: How to Discipline Your Kids.  You do not want to miss week 2 of Parenting: A 3 Ring Circus.  It will be both fun and challenging.

What are your thoughts?  Do you agree or disagree?  Let’s hear it.

Do you spank your kids?

5 replies »

  1. Totally and utterly disagree with “spanking” children and believe that it teaches them that violence is completely acceptable. Children see things very literal at a young age and if they see mummy hitting out well then there clearly is nothing wrong with them expressing their feelings in this way.

  2. Well, I think you will have many agreeing and disagreeing with spanking. Personally I don’t think it’s wrong with spanking especially if you follow the guidelines you just talked about. I think where parents, or whomever does the spanking make the mistake of doing it under stress and when angry. Like what you had to say referencing the Bible verses and how it should be done. Hope everyone raising children read this!!!!

  3. What I’ve found is a lot of parents are spanking from a place of anger or frustration with the child (trying to stop the behavior, rather than changing the child’s heart). When I spank my kids from a place of love & discipline, the results are amazing. God’s word is true. They don’t walk away mad or damaged. Their respect & love for me(& their heavenly Father) is renewed.

  4. One day when I am a millionaire, I’m going to pay a research agency to investigate and proof that significantly most of the people who were disciplined (spanked) as kids [under the right guidelines], grew up to be respectful of authority, contentious of consequences, and self-confident because they knew boundaries as kids..

    On the other hand, many of those who grew up with not such discipline at all, turned out to be disrespectful of government, police, teachers and adults in general; making bad decisions without care for future consequences, and lacking discipline and self control.

    Of course, I am not a millionaire yet so I cant prove this academically, however, I can think of tens of people who I know in a personal level -including me, that would make a perfect sample.

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